There was a heated exchange online between a writer by the name of Jane, on the website Canada Adopts, and the blog Adopto-Snark. I mention the exchange because it's indicative of the state of the online conversation around adoption as I've found it, despite the fact that neither comes close to expressing a view that I'd agree with. I think that a lot of Adopto-Snark's criticisms of Jane are basically right. But if she was actually aiming to convince Jane—which I doubt she was—she couldn't have chosen language less likely to do it. And that is an opportunity lost. At the same time, I think Jane's remark that family-preservation movement writing has a tendency to depict "infertile couples who sought to adopt other people’s children [as] terrible human beings" is too often true. While I agree wholeheartedly that creating optimal situations for preserving families deserves priority, I've been really disturbed by the tendency of some of my fellow adoptees, often the most vocal, to villainize all adoptive parents, and also to neglect situations of real need for adoptive parents for children truly orphaned or abused by biological parents. There are a lot of harsh words out there, and this is the environment in which I felt compelled to start this project.